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Strange Days
Thursday, May 20, 2010

Both macrocosmically - election mayhem, volcanic dust, tumbling europoor bank balances - and microcosmically - new job, palpitating heart, emotional upheaval all round. But yesterday I stood among bluebells for half an hour overcoming the primal terror of going into the woods alone (little girl) but still not daring to close my eyes. Rabbits running around look scared when they see me - this is logical, rational, pie-based. Blackbirds sound the alarm - but they have babies to look after. In this wood, I am the dangerous one, my clumsy feet slaughtering thousands at each step. I sat on the trunk of a fallen tree breathing that elusive not quite hyacinth scent, trying to be still and calm. The bluebells stood in platoons as far as my eyes could see, ramrod straight, an army on parade. Slant sunlight through the new beech leaves. I wish I knew how to live without fear.
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