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Happy Birthday
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Monday, August 20, 2012 |
| Today is my oldest daughter's birthday. Makes me very happy even to think about her, though she is far away in that London. She's an amazing girl, clever, talented, funny and beautiful. I'm so proud of her and all the things she does.
When it's your child's birthday you can't help but go back there to the pregnancy, the birth and those strange days afterwards when everything in your life changes at a stroke - especially when it's your first child. I was so unprepared. Very few of my friends had children, and somehow we didn't talk about it in the way my daughters and their friends do now. Maybe we were still of a generation that did not really believe in choice, planning, and all of that bourgeois (sensible) stuff. I don't regret the unpreparedness though - learning through experience seems to have some advantages. I tried with the books (thanks for nothing Penelope Leach) but they made me feel enormously inadequate. Parents were hundreds of miles away. My models were Doris the cat (a lousy mother, really) and women in the developing countries mythologised. But really just doing my meagre best in difficult circumstances - poor, bad housing, not much in the way of support. I remember the first time she laughed - in a daft peek a boo game. I was completely entranced.
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| 4:29 AM
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I feel the same about my daughter, soemtimes she seems like a strange miracle that happened despite me.
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I feel the same about my daughter, soemtimes she seems like a strange miracle that happened despite me.