No it has never been like this before - has it? Maybe way back in the darkened rooms of childhood, the powerlessness, the impotence. There must be a way to reconnect with your own power: consider witchcraft? flower remedies? counselling? Oh no not this old wander off into the byways of pointlessness - still impotent, but distracted. No. Keep your enemies closer, and bide your time. Forget the self-pity, just a version of self-hatred. Let the anger cool and harden whilst you sharpen it into appropriate and effective weapons. Discipline is the key here. Ha. Irony.
Thinking about the world, thinking about little boys who torture little boys - was it always like this? Probably, to a degree. Were children always abused? Oh yes, for sure. But we know no boundaries now. Limitless. I guess I had an idea that our common humanity would provide those limits once we all realised we were mortal. Don't want to turn into Cassandra with sackcloth ashes and dismal predictions about the future. This morning, early, the light was golden and the air filled with millions of tiny, busy insects, pirouetting in the glow. Ecstasy.